


Don't X Look X Back

by J_EnotsoLovely



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, M/M, Spoilers, leaving each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29725929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_EnotsoLovely/pseuds/J_EnotsoLovely
Summary: Killua didn't have to turn around to know that Gon wasn't looking back. He knew the other boys' golden eyes were fixed straight ahead, locked on his newest goal. He knew that Gon's footsteps would remain solid, assured. He knew the boy wouldn't stumble.Gon never stumbled.Gon wanted to turn back.It would all be so simple.But even though Gon wanted to spend time with his best friend and even though he knew Killua would join him if he asked, the boy also knew that he should remain silent.After all, Killua had finally found what it was he wanted to do.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Don't X Look X Back

**Author's Note:**

> i found this old thing from back in my wattpad days. fhjvkgb

Killua didn't have to turn around to know that Gon wasn't looking back. He knew the other boys' golden eyes were fixed straight ahead, locked on his newest goal. He knew that Gon's footsteps would remain solid, assured. He knew the boy wouldn't stumble.

Gon never stumbled.

Killua knew that although the hand clasped with his own was warm and comforting, it would never feel right. He knew that his palm would always feel empty, his heart would always ache for something.... _more_.

But he had Alluka, Nanika too. His beloved sisters.

Someone to protect, grow stronger for. He had a new goal too, only it stood here, beside him. Killua squeezed the young girl's hand and felt pressure on his own in turn. But he couldn't bring himself to conjure up a smile, not without Gon.

Killua looked down at the pavement, his eyes clouded with sadness. Sorrow slowed his footsteps but he forced himself to keep going. He refused to falter.

But his chest _hurt._

It felt like with each step his heartstrings were being viciously torn apart. And yet he couldn't stop. He would remain strong and shake off the visions of Gon reaching out to him. After all, it wasn't like the golden eyed boy would turn back. No, the raven haired probably forgotten all about him.

That was fine. Killua would just have to do the same.

He wished he could turn around one last time to say thanks, but he knew if he did, then his newfound resolve would crumble into nothing. And so, even though it tore him apart, Killua kept walking.

He never stumbled.

Gon wanted to turn back.

Gon wanted to reach out to Killua and say, " _lets go!_ "

He knew the white haired boy would grab his hand, he didn't doubt it. It would all be so simple.

They would meet Ging together, like they had planned, so long ago. They would laugh and run all the way there. Killua would probably challenge him to a race. The ex-assassin would win most likely.

But only because Gon would be too distracted, busy bathing in the warm presence of his best friend. He let the vision play out in front of him before slowly blinking the illusion away. Gon knew what he wanted, but he also knew that he was being selfish.

Images of the monster he had became flashed in his mind and the boy's eyes dimmed, fading to a lesser shade of amber. He recalled the was Killua's nen disappeared during his confrontation with Pitou---and how he hadn't spared a second thought about it.

He remembered smelling the salinity of Killua's tears as the lithe boy carried the raven haired teen's frail, broken body through the forest. He remembered waking up in an empty hospital room, tubes connected to all parts of his body, and the room so devoid of emotion that he feared he had died and woken up in some sort of metallic hell. More than anything else, he remembered his willingness to die, his willingness to give up everything that gave his life value. 

His willingness to leave _Killua._

It really wasn't much different from what was happening now.

Gon knew that although they made up, the farther the two boys walked from each other, the larger the gap between them grew.

That was fine. It had no choice but to be fine.

Because even though Gon wanted to spend time with his best friend and even though he knew Killua would join him if he asked, the boy also knew that he should remain silent.

He should keep moving forward.

After all, Killua had finally found what it was he wanted to do.

Momentarily it hurt the black haired boy as he once again came to the realization that what Killua wanted--- had nothing to do with the him. The sharp pain faded as the World Tree came into focus. Upon seeing the sight, the boy's slowing footsteps grew stronger, more assured.

Without his knowing, his body had been about to turn around, stopped only by the sight of the place where Ging was waiting. Gon's honey orbs hardened and he pressed onward, barely managing to contain the excitement that drowned his sorrow. He would see the ex-assassin again, Gon was sure. But right now, there was a future that could decide he was taking too long and slip away. 

A future he almost lost.

A future Killua helped him to regain.

" _Arigato.._ " the golden eyed boy thought, giving silent thanks to his best friend who was already slipping from his mind. The image of white hair and crystalline blue eyes were being replaced by a new visage of a cocky smirk and slightly older face. Gon stood straighter, his eyes fixed at the top of the World Tree as though it were a target.

He was going to meet his father.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know your thoughts.


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